Long Time Coming

Its been a while since I posted anything and just wanted to post this. Great video, that its in spanish is even better. Man I loved this show.

Adventures In Dog Sitting

The weekend of Thanksgiving I dog sat for Jamie's dog, Bear, for 5 days. He was just about the perfect dog, he slept alot, he never 'went' in the house and he was generally a cool dog. But I learned alot from the experience.

1. I would have to buy a better vacuum if I get a dog.
2. Some dogs poop more than once during a walk.
3. They like to pee in the same place over and over and over again.
4. It was fun to have company all the time, it felt like I wasn't talking to myself.

I did miss him when he was gone, and suprised myself when I went looking for him the first day he left.

I do wish I could keep him for a longer time, but my plan to get a second job to help pay for Europe, would keep me out of the apartment for 12 hours some days and that wouldn't be fair to me or to him. Then there's the monetary issue. I just can't afford a dog, even a small one, right now.

If I could find a way to keep him I probably would. I could use the daily exercise of walks, I'd never sleep past 9am again and I'd never have to worry about picking up crumbs anymore.

Sigh

This might have been the best Word ever. If he doesn't win the Emmy next year, I will hunt and kill Barry Manilow. Who's with me?

You Tube: Part 2

Another reason why You Tube rocks, and another person with too much time on his hands. LINK.

Etaoin

Only because it came up at work today link.

Fuck Yadier Molina

Well, I can finally write about the Mets now that the season is over. I have a couple of superstitious fears that things I do affect the way my team plays. The main one being writing about them.
I know deep down, if I write/gloat about my team, they will fail, especially once the playoffs begin. This fear began way back in 1988 with the Mets. I knew they would win the World Series that year, they were the best team in baseball and it had been just 2 years from the last one. This one was another sure thing, just like 86, but then they lost to the Dodgers and it was another light-hitting, defensive minded catcher that crushed my dreams. So, Mike Scioscia, fuck you too.
Ever since then I am frightened that if I talk about how good my team is, they will lose. It resurfaced again in 99 with Duke. 37-1 going into the final game, they had rolled everyone all season long. I knew I was watching history, their 38th win would be a record for D1 schools, most of the stars were underclassmen and would be returning the next year. Back-to-back was a sure thing. Wrong, enter fuckin UConn. Fuck Jim Calhoun.

So now I take care in what I do, say and even wear when my teams are on. The more important the game, the more care I take. During ACC games, I've been known to change my shirt, change the chair that I'm sitting in and during one season I made origami cranes constantly while Duke was playing.

After watching the recent Game 7 from my chair, my couch, standing, etc. I've begun to realize that what I do has no effect on how my teams play, but it isn't going to stop me from trying.

Progress Sucks

I like driving. It stems from the fact that I got my licence at 20, then lost it just 3 years later for 12 months. If your friend in the car ever forces you to pull over then throws your keys away, don't go and find them. Just sleep there. Don't try to drive home from places unknown. But enough about that.

I like driving fast on winding roads, where you can lean into the turns and you need to keep both hands on the wheel because the shoulder is non-existant. There aren't many roads like that down here, the main reason being the roads are planned in advance, so are mostly straight, or have very long sweeping curves (like Lynn Road). Boring!

Back in NY roads -in certain places- were an after thought, or needed to be put down in between buildings, neighborhoods, parks, etc. For example, the Belt Parkway on Long Island. It leads from the Verrazano Narrows Bridge and crawls along the southern coast of LI until you get to JFK, and can be a parking lot at certain times of the day. But if you hit it at the right time, its like a white knuckle rollercoaster.

One of the few roads down here that I enjoyed driving on was Leesville Road (between Milbrook and Lynn), barely a mile long, it was enough fun that I would go out of my way to take it. Now that they are widening the road they will destroy it. It will no longer be fun to drive, they will straighten the curves, level the road and suck the soul from my driving experience.

I've been trying to find another road like that around here. If anyone knows any place thats fun to drive, let me know. Ray Road isn't that bad, but its too straight and too wide for it to be real fun.

Listening To - Carole King 'Tapestry'

Weasel Stomping Day

Hooray for Weasel Stomping Day!

A Fantabalous Cinderellabration

Five Best Things About My Recent Vacation To Disney/Orlando

1. Going to Disney after Labor day is a must! Lines were short, 20 minutes was the longest wait for any ride (except for Peter Pan?!? which was 40 minutes). Space Mountain 3 times in 45 minutes, the Aerosmith coaster 5 times in an hour. Sweet.
2. Dueling Dragons coaster at Islands of Adventure. A 'fire' and 'ice' dragon hanging coaster pass within inches of each other a couple of times during the ride. Ice side is better, goes upside down one extra time.
3. ESPN Zone resturant on Disney boardwalk. I watched a football game, 4 baseball games and a documentary on the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and never had to swivel my head more than 15 degrees. Food was good too.
4. Shrek 4D. The best of the 3D stage/video shows. The fourth D was smell. Remember ogres are like onions.
5. Raleigh to the Georgia border in 4 hours. My new car can reach speeds exceeding 100 mph.

Five Most Disappointing Things About My Recent Vacation To Disney/Orlando

1. DisneyQuest. Its a 5 level playground with some interesting interactive/multiplayer games and banks of video games that you play for free. But the majority of the old time video games (Asteriods, Galaga, Donkey Kong) were not functioning properly. I played two seperate games where I could not go up. Not one of the pinball games had every flipper functional, and the air hockey game puck was too dirty and didn't slide properly.
2. The inability of Disney to get a believable live 'Ariel'. None of them looked right, it was the hair. Although the 4 or 5 Belle's that I saw were all smokin', and legal!
3. The Jurassic Park ride at Univeral Islands of Adventure. One of the longest lines we waited in 20, minutes, and the big drop at the end of water ride sucked. Did not get wet at all.
4. Everything at Disney that said 2006 had Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pluto and Stitch on it. Stitch? What the fuck? Some of the cast members felt my pain. We even asked for a damaged picture frame that Stitch had fallen off of, no luck.
5. Completely fucking up my sleep pattern. Used to be up till 3, awake at 10 or so, later on my days off. During the vacation in bed by midnight, up before 8. Still having trouble getting back to the old schedule.

Listening to - Ella Fitzgerald Sings Sweet Songs For Swingers

You Tube!

sometimes things aren't what they appear.

last second shot


and sometimes they are

The World Needs More People Like This

An artist sabotages paris hilton cds.

Here's another one he did.

Very brilliant, we need people link Banksy in the US.

Did That Really Just Happen?

Saturday night was spent at a bachelor party and I saw things I never expected to see in someone's living room. The two hour show was spectacular and it involved candle wax, lollipops, whipped cream, knee high leather boots and other things I won't even mention as this is a kid-friendly page. Not only was the show great, but the two strippers allowed pictures to be taken. I don't think I ever heard the phrase "Dammit, my memory card is full again" uttered more times than at the party.

Then we made the mistake of going to Pure Gold. I've been there three times and I have yet to enjoy myself. One, because the best looking girl there this time was the cashier; two, the music sucks; and third, I was bored to tears.

My friend put it best when he compared the two experiences (the strippers in the house & Pure Gold)

"We just had a free filet mignon dinner, why the fuck did we overpay for a stale chocolate chip cookie for dessert?"

Probably A Bit Stupid....

but I chased a shoplifter today. I was returning from the post office (returning my Netflix, Ken Burns Jazz Disc 3) when I saw a guy exit our store from the emergency fire exit. Since our store was NOT on fire I took off after him. He rounded the back of the store and flung the Borders mesh bag into the car, which was parked on the road behind the store.
When I reached the car, he was still getting into it, so I kicked his plastic grill. It responded with a nice crack. Then I noticed that his passenger window was open, so I proceded to stick my arms in and started pulling out our merch. I reached in once, twice, three times and got back most of the stuff (6 DVD boxsets at $450) before he peeled out behind Kroger.
I was able to get the licence plate and since I was wearing the headset, I relayed his plate number to those in the store. When I called the cops, I gave them the plate and an approximate model (unless I've owned the car, I can't tell one from another.) About an hour later an officer told me that he was going to the address that the car was registered to.
About 3pm the officer called me and told me the got the guy. When the officer arrived to give me the rest of the stuff back (2 cds and a 1 dvd) he told me, not only was he able to bust the guy for stealing my stuff, but the cop found a 'good amount' of cocaine, crack and pot, along with needles at the house!
So, not only did I chase a guy (technically not a good idea in the eyes of the LP guys), but I chased a guy who was stealing to satisfy a drug habit and who could have been armed. All in all it was a good day.

Snakes On A Plane!

See this mother fucking movie! It has it all, excitement, snakes, dickhead Brits being killed in great ways, snakes, the obligitory nipple shot and Samuel L Jackson saying 'mutha fucker.'

Nobody alive today says 'mutha fucker' like Samuel L Jackson. I am going on record to say that his headstone should read, "Here Lies One Bad Mutha Fucker!" When alien archeologists visit earth thousands of years from now, THEY will know who lies under that headstone.

The movie gets 3 stars, out of 4 stars. Please don't go to this movie if you expect anything from it. Exposition is kept to a minimum, backstory is almost non-existant but it doesn't matter. Snakes start attacking about 15 minutes into the movie. That's what we want. We want snakes, we want snakes on a plane.

The only thing that kept the movie from getting 4 stars was a single line of Samuel L dialog. I won't give it away, but when you hear it, you'll be wondering what the hell he just said and why.

So enjoy this movie, that's what its there for. Pure entertainment. And Samuel L Jackson.

Lies Of Locke Lamora

A fucking fabulous book. Set in a fantastically realized world, one can only hope that the author returns to the city of Camorr in the future. The characters are wonderful and lovable despite the fact that they are thieves.

Its an Original Voices book, so it should be on sale, also our store got a promo copy, so all stores should have got a promo.

The Visit

On Sunday, one of my best friends ended her stay at my place. For two weeks Marina Del Rey and I discovered some interesting things:

-I would rather watch a show about Hitler than a Three's Company rerun
-There is an old guy who macks on the chicks at my pool
-Harvey Birdman is the bomb
-Colbert at the White House Correspondance Dinner is pure genius
-Eurorail now includes Scandanavia
-London to Amsterdam via train is about 7 hours
-There are at least 3 different squirrels who violate my birdfeeder
-I do not have a USB cable
-Scully (of X-Files fame) is still hot
-If you are ever watching Adult Swim on cartoon network and you are not sure what show is on next, guess Futurama, you will probably be right
-Anderson Cooper is Gloria Vanderbilt's son (which explains why he is such a snazzy dresser)

A Happy Day

Today was a happy day. I received a piece of mail that was 10 years in coming. My very last student loan payment book arrived. Ten fuckin years I've been paying those Sallie Mae pricks my money for a degree I haven't even come close to using. I want a refund.

The Best [hic] Salsa [hic] Ever [hic]

Tonight for dinner I had a smoothie and chips and salsa. Not just any salsa, but the best salsa I've ever had.

Desert Pepper Trading Company Salsa Diablo Hot

You can find it at kroger, usually on an endcap in the ethnic aisle. Its a bit expensive $4.59 for 16oz, but I've never had another like it. And it passes my hotness test. From years of experience I know how hot stuff is by my bodies reaction.

If I hiccup, its hot; if I don't, its not. Rather simple, but effective. Also a neat icebreaker.

They also make a very good bean salsa, a black and a white, with the latter being the better of the two. Now that I've been to the website, I am going to look for the Roasted Habanero Salsa - XXXTra Hot that they make.

Desert Pepper

No, I Was Not High

So last night I had a fucked up dream and it would either make a good Harry Turtledove novel, or a bad Jerry Bruckheimer film. Or vice versa.

I'm in Washington DC and its like 1920, but there is a war going on between the north and the south. I'm in the north and we are winning, its near the end of the war and we have the south on the ropes, but then we are attacked by the English. We have to scurry to bomb shelters to hide from their bombers, but the bomb shelters resemble the new North Hills mall and we are hiding between Chick-Fila and 5 Brothers Burgers. Not the best place to be hiding from bombers, but its okay because the planes only have one bomb and its the size of a football. The planes aren't much bigger than my old Geo, but are very maneuverable, like a genie or air elemental. The only damage the planes do is when one of them turns on end, with its propeller straight down and buzzsaws into the crowd of people, liquifying them instantly.

This sickens the population and the north and south put their differences aside and decide to attack England, France and Germany. My family opens a store that sells old style record players, the kind that are the player and speaker all in one. You can also put a cover on it and carry it around with you and it was the size of my G4 tower. We also sell records, but most of them have been damaged by mold. I did find three Rolling Stones records in the bins, Black & Blue, Emotional Rescue and Some Girls.

Then, Nicole Kidman (posing as our mother), my sister and I sneak into England. Nicole is caught in the train station by security, but me and my sister continue on to complete our mission. We enter the house of the Minister of War and tie up the first secretary we see (played by John Cleese), then enter the next room and rip the phone out of the hands of the next secretary (also played by John Cleese) and tie him up with the cord. Finally we enter the residence of the Minister of War and immobilize the entire family and kidnap his newborn baby. Apparently that was our mission. I stuff the baby in a hiking backpack and wait to see if it cries. When it doesn't we turn to leave.

The End.

15 Months To Go

I have made a decision this week. Sometime next summer I plan to be in Europe, hopefully it will be for my birthday.
I know what you're thinking. *How the fuck is he going to survive Europe when he hates going to downtown Raleigh.* Well, I have a guide, one of my best friends has been to Europe on multiple occasions for months at a time and has promised to go.

Next step, money and lots of it. Europass about $1000 for the month, plane tickets $800+, then there's the money i would need to eat and shower and shop.
So if anyone needs some kneecaps broken, let me know. We'll talk.

Since I will have only 3 1/2 weeks I need to narrow down what I want to see. It is a WHOLE continent. Sort of.

Stonehenge, Paris, Greece, Neuschwanstein, Rome, Amsterdam, more castles, bars 300 years older than our country, London, Spain, churches 1000 years older than our country.

Gonna have to work on that list.

Imagine There's No Heaven

It's hard to imagine a time before the internet. What did people like this do before they could express themselves through iMovie and a couple MBs of hard drive space?

Ask A Ninja

Utterly Addicted

I started playing this game, back when I knew it as Moria in 1988 when some guys at the computer lab at the University of Hartford clued me into it. Way back when my first major was computer science, so I got a job that gave me access to the computer room. I would sit at the desk in the front of the room and make sure no one caught the computers on fire. It was rather boring, but I got paid. The only excitment I had all semester was when we got a virus. It caused a ball to bounce around the screen and knocked letters out of word documents. Then I got kicked out of the dorms, quit the job and decided that computer science sucked as a major.

But back to the game. Moria was utterly addicting, I never made it past 11th level at Hartford, although my playtime was limited. You couldnt play the game if there were more than 20 people on the network of computers across the 7 or 8 computing rooms on campus, and that was all the time, except early in the morning, or during the overnights.

About 8 years ago, I was able to download it for my mac. Moria, it was glorious in all its black & white & crappy graphics glory. I played until my hand cramped up. The same game I remembered from Hartford. But it was on OS 9 and I hate loading 9 over OSX, so I stopped playing it.

Three days ago, I found it again, this time for OSX and already I can't feel the fingers in my right hand. Now called Angband, its in color (sort of) and better than I remember. My first real character died at level 25, which pissed me off because he had an awesome weapon.

Heres the link to download it for whatever system you have, even if all you have is your old Amiga. If you think it looks stupid, just try it. Start with something simple like a half-troll warrior, keep rerolling your stats until your strength is like 18/50+ and your con is over 18 as well, then head on down and start wacking shit. Angband

If You Haven't Seen This

Please watch.

It's Stephen Colbert roasting the president.

Colbert

Freaks & Geeks

If you haven't seen this show, you should. Shows like 'Freaks & Geeks' are what tv should be, well written, entertaining and honest. Just 18 episodes long (fuck NBC), it joins elite company in the tv show pantheon of really good shows that were killed before their time, like Firefly (1 season) & Sports Night (2 seasons).

Most shows like this get ruined when the tv execs get involved and fuck things up, like showing episodes out of order, changing the night and times it was shown, etc. In a world before TiVo, not knowing where or when your show was on was a nightmare, and usually a sign that the show was on the way out only to be replaced by some crap show with former cast member of 90210.

I enjoyed the show for many reasons:
One, the music kicked ass and was the reason it took so long to be released on DVD. They had to secure rights to everything. From Black Flag and Joe Jackson to Buddy Rich and Rush.
Two, it depicted high school as I remember it, and how most of us remember high school. Stretches of akwardness laced with laughter and pain.
Three, it was well written and parts of it were unexpected. I've seen lots of tv and can usually guess what's going to happen in a show before the first commercial break. Much of tv is sterile and appears stamped out by a large cookie cutter machine. The ending of the series actually shocked me. Not shocked like hand from the grave at the end of Carrie shocked, but pleasently shocked. Plus this ending was better than what I was expecting.
Four, I have this 'thing' for high school cheerleaders and became infatuated with Cindy, the girl who would become Sam's girlfriend for like 3 episodes. I thought she was the hottest thing in the show until the final episode in which Linda Cardellini dances around her room to 'Box of Rain'. Hippie dancing is way hot.

God bless NetFlix for allowing me to see this, after watching all five seasons of Babylon 5, Freaks & Geeks was a nice change and a better show. (Only because of the 5th season of B5 was tacked on at the end and it felt that way.)

So rent Freaks & Geeks, better yet, buy it, you won't be disappointed and if you are then i will buy your used copy from you.

Collision Of Issues

Just yesterday my love of lists and my music collection ran into each other again. Every two years or so, I order my Top 50 cds. The first list was back in Dec 91 and had only 25 on the list. As my collection has expanded, so has the list. Now its 50 albums long. The top 10 for those who care, or dont care:

10 - Exile On Main Street - The Rolling Stones
9 - Revolver - The Beatles
8 - Joshua Judges Ruth - Lyle Lovett
7 - Slanted & Enchanted - Pavement
6 - Blonde On Blonde - Bob Dylan
5 - Come On Pilgrim/Surfer Rosa - The Pixies*
4 - London Calling - The Clash
3 - Whats Going On - Marvin Gaye
2 - Pauls Boutique - The Beastie Boys
1 - Highway 61 Revisited - Bob Dylan


[* technically these are seperate albums, but I always listen to them together and the first CD i had of them had both on the same CD]

Post your top 10 if you feel so inclined.

Do Ducks Have Au Pairs?

I sure hope so, because I saw a duck surrounded by 10 baby ducklings this afternoon at the lake. Now, I know my knowledge of ducks is limited to they quack and they are hard to cook properly, but 10 seems like an awful lot of babies for one duck to have. This means she laid a minimum of 10 eggs, again, this seems like a large number for one duck to lay.

Now these might have been small eggs, and the thought of hearing her loudly quack "You did this to me!" at least 10 times is kind of funny. But 10, that quantifies as a fuck load.














This is for Lane. I found a site that my friend put up long ago about the 'band' I 'played' in before I moved to NC. I guess I am on the web.

Bloat

The End Of An Era

Unless someone sees me tomorrow morning, the next time anyone will see me will be with my new car. After 9.03 long years the Metro will be sold and I will be the owner of a 2005 Ford Focus ZX3S 2D Hatchback. Technically the bank will own the car until I pay it off, but thats just semantics.

Nine long years, almost 60,000 miles. It will be sad to see Polly go, she was a good car. After 13 years she still got 36+ miles per gallon, which is good considering she is missing parts. Apparently Metro parts are very hard to come by and instead of replacing them, my mechanic has removed them. Telling me that I didn't need them, a sensor here, a computer chip there, etc.

I've abused her (a dozen trips to NY), ignored her (just 9 tanks of gas in 2001), but most of all, loved her. Nine years is longer than I had my first two cars combined. The Honda Accord (Daphne) got wrapped around a telephone pole, and the Dodge Colt (Liz) needed to be put to sleep after just 12 months. I can only hope that the new car will last as long as the old one.

Like any relationship there are things I will miss and things I could do without:

PRO:
-still 36+ mph
-who's gonna steal a Metro?
-turning radius of a helium atom
-easy to wrap
-impossible to get a speeding ticket (Metro's top speed is approx 88mph, tough to tell as the speedometer stops at 85)
-haven't had to be designated driver for the past 4 years ("That's your car? You can drive mine.")

CON:
-no CD player
-being hit on the head by the hatch falling suddenly
-8 gallon gas tank
-heat barely functional, A/C worse
-everyone's going to want to ride in it (maybe)
-the lingering smell of oil & gas for 3 days after I filled the tank
-men on Segways pass the Metro on inclines

I will miss not having hubcaps, I will miss not having to wash my car, I will miss all the squirrel/chipmunk jokes about the 3-cylinder engine, I will miss the 8-year old crack in the windshield. I will miss you Polly.


Listening To: iTunes folder 'Older Missing Mid Length 4+ Stars'

Tired

I'm fuckin tired. Inventory is over, its 3am, reguardless of what the time at the bottom of the post says. Bed is calling, my feet are screaming, i dont know what the hell i am posting.

I Still Want The Robot Stealth Monkeys

The motherfuckers that were stealing dvds were caught! We nailed those sons of bitches, although the real credit must go to the people at Edward McCay who called us when they got there to sell the stolen DVDs. It was a great fuckin day to be at work. More than one person said they had never seen me smile this much. Its been a long time since a day at work was so much fun.
After being reamed by shoplifters for hundreds of years, its nice to see some of them get caught. Its even nicer to see them sitting in the back of a police car in front of the store. Fuck yeah! Rot in jail you fucks!
It could have been better though; if, when they were speeding through the parking lot to escape they had run over the guy with the jungle helmet. That would have been the greatest day in the history of the world. Bar none. Although today was one of the best days ever at work.

The sad part is it was only 1 pair of shoplifters and until we get our robot stealth monkeys and trap door in the vestibule, it will happen again. And again. Now I'm sad.

But wait, we caught somefucks! Got back $660 bucks! Fuck yeah! Happy again! Have fun in jail fucks! Don't drop the soap! Ha ha ha ha! Fuck yeah!

Open Letter To The Writers Of Lost

If you don't start answering some questions I will drive to North Dakota, break into a missile silo, dispatch the armed guards, figure out how to launch a missile and then nuke the cast, crew and set of Lost out of existance.

Multi seasonal story arcs are great, a little mystery is good, things coming out of left field are fine; but if all I have is questions after the end of season 2, someone will die a most horrid death. Maybe even Hurley, that way it won't be all in his mind and you'll have to come up with another explination for your entire show.


Listening to: Dr John - Gris-Gris

Demented And Sad

Being a self-professed rock snob sucks. I am compelled to fill in my library with so-called 'classic' albums usually for no other reason than to say "I got that" when I look through music magazines/books that contain a list of great albums of some kind. I am also compelled to get albums on these lists that I don't have.

For example, the lastest issue of Uncut lists the top 50 Greatest Cosmic American Albums. I had 11. I ordered 4 more. Why? I still don't know. Could I live without Shuggie Otis' "Inspiration Information" or Doctor John's "Gris-Gris"? Probably. Would my library be complete without these? Yes... maybe... not sure. But I can't stop. Acquiring music is my compulsion, not listening to it, but acquiring it. I don't have enough time to thoroughly listen and enjoy all the music I get. Much of the new stuff I get I'll listen to once or twice, rate it in iTunes and then hope it shows up again when I hit random.

In my neverending quest to complete my library I've searched high and low for some kind of uberlist of 'classic' albums. Needless to say there isn't one, nor will there ever be one that isn't at least 10,000+ albums long. But I must continue to search and feed the monster that is my library, filling it in with Bowie catalog albums, genre boxsets (like Nuggets or Motown) and greatest hits by the Buzzcocks and The Fall, for no other reason than its what I do and who I am.

My library defines who I am, and sadly I've had this reoccuring fantasy that I will find my soul mate when I find the person who 'completes' my library the most with the 'classic' albums that I still don't have. Currently this means my soul mate is someone with a penchant for female singer-songwriters (Joni Mitchell, Kate Bush, Bjork), old country-western (the Carter Family, Hank Williams Sr), electronica, blues, reggae and world music.

Whoever she is, she will walk into the store wearing her Aphex Twins t-shirt, humming something off of "Court and Spark" and want to know which Elvis Costello album to get after "My Aim Is True" and "This Years Model", which cd to begin her Richard Thompson collection with and if "Astral Weeks" by Van Morrison is really worth it. Over several cups of tea we will discuss the top 5 Dylan albums, the wonder of Ella Fitzgerald and if The Flaming Lips are currently the 'Worlds Best Rock and Roll Band'. Then when she says that "The Weight" is her favorite song in the world, I will ask her to marry me.




This post got completely off track. All I wanted was to show a link to this website.

Listening to - Prince - 3121, My Morning Jacket - Z & The Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin

J Michael Straczynski Sucks Ass

Not as a writer or a person as a whole, but as a commentator on his show Babylon 5.

I enjoy watching the commentaries on DVDs. I've learned some interesting things. For instance in Seven Samurai by Kurosawa when actors are shot with arrows, they are truly shot with arrows. An expect archer is standing right off camera and shooting an arrow into the guys chest. Of course the guy being shot has a board strapped to his chest under his robe. Or the sound of laser fire in Star Wars is actually someone hitting a high tension wire with a hammer.

These things are fun to find out and fun to know, but what I shouldnt learn in the commentaries is that Sheridan will become President of the Earth Alliance or that his wife is still alive and works for the shadows a full 3 seasons before it happens!

Thanks Mike. Thanks for ruining the fucking surprise. Next time put a disclaimer in the commentaries, something like "Don't watch this commentary because I tell you exactly what is going to happen and ruin your viewing experience over the next 3 seasons." That warning would have been nice.

Here's some others:
Crying Game - its a guy
Sixth Sense - bruce willis is already dead
Star Wars - vader is lukes father and leia is lukes sister

Worst. Game. Ever.

Its disappointing to watch your team go out with a whimper. No fire, no hustle, nada. Getting beat to a missed rebound in the last minute is sad, getting beat to TWO in the last minute is unforgivable. They didn't want to win tonight.

Other than that, thank you JJ, for a great year and a great career. Now just 7 months until next year, which, unfortunately will see the team with the powder blue as national champ contenders, not Duke. Unless there is a fiery bus crash or a crazed sniper somewhere on the UNC campus

A Couple Of Things

I cannot put into words my disdain for the people who refuse to use their turn signal.

GET OFF THE FUCKIN PHONE AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING TO DO WITH THAT GOD DAMN ESCALADE IN FRONT OF ME!!!

Am I overreacting? This is common courtesy people. What kind of lazy fucks have we become?

-------------------------------

The Greatest-80s-Song-That-Never-Became-A-Huge-#1-Single

"Bringin' On The Heartache" - Def Leppard

This song is 80s to its core. The great opening riff, a great chorus, not one, but three heavy metal solos. And not the crappy speed solos of the 80s, more 70s british bluesy solos. This was Def Leppard at the top of their game. They still had the long hair and everyone had two arms. They fuckin rocked. The second greatest Def Leppard song of all time ("Photograph", duh) and it fell flat on the charts and almost crushed my 11 year old spirit. I mean, look at the the top 10 singles of 1981, the year the song was released:

# 1. Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes
# 2. Endless Love - Diana Ross & Lionel Richie
# 3. Lady - Kenny Rogers
# 4. (Just Like) Starting Over - John Lennon
# 5. Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
# 6. Celebration - Kool & The Gang
# 7. Kiss On My List - Daryl Hall & John Oates
# 8. I Love A Rainy Night - Eddie Rabbitt
# 9. 9 To 5 - Dolly Parton
# 10. Keep On Loving You - REO Speedwagon

"Bringing on the Heartache" is better than 8 of the songs on that list.


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My 7th Annual NCAA Vacation began today. It is a good time. I am happy now. I will watch more games this year than last. I will cook every day. I will clean. I will see the ducks. I will get at least 10 games right tomorrow. I will work on the campaign. I will shop at Target.

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Sad news, Games Galore moved from the corner of Glenwood and Duraleigh. They moved to Cary, which sucks, because the last time I drove to Cary, my car died for about 20 minutes. And I was in the mood to buy a board game. Maybe Hobby Master, but I dont think so.


Listening to - Pete Townshand 'Gold'

What Is Too Much?

Currently I am wondering what size my next external harddrive should be. The current one is 80GB and is almost full, mainly from music.

iTunes tells me that I have just shy of 50GB of music, 12359 songs, 37 days + 7 1/2 hours worth of music on the harddrive. This might seem excessive, especially since there are almost 2000 songs (almost 6 days worth) I have yet to listen to. At one point I was down to a day and half of unplayed music, but this has changed and I add albums faster than I can listen to them.

But how can you turn down the chance to burn 5 Miles Davis Box sets (an entire days worth of music!) in the span of a month? How can you not get excited skimming through the promo box at work thinking 'Sweet! I don't have to buy this. Sharon, I will be returning this cd tomorrow' or 'I think I've heard of this band, what the hell, let me burn it.'

Obsessed? Clearly. But iTunes is so much fun. And for people who are obsessive/compulsive about listing things (like me), its pure heaven. It tells me the first song added to my iTunes 'Eat It' by Weird Al (added 1/28/03 at 12:09 pm), most played 'Shake your Rump' & 'High Plains Drifter' (both by Beastie Boys, at 33 times), that its been 30 months since I listened to 'Is There Anybody Here That Love My Jesus' by Medeski, Martin & Wood (last played on 8/12/03) and that if you played every song longer than 10 minutes on my harddrive (360 of them) it would take 3 days, 14 hours 40 minutes and 29 seconds.

This might be too much. But, its never been easier to make mix CDs. I can type in almost any word and pull up at least a full cds worth of music, and since it finds the sequence of letters, not the word, you get all sorts of things. The word 'turd' pulls up a suprising number of songs, like those with the word Saturday. Or if I want to make a CD of 5 star rock songs from 1970-1975 between 4 & 5 minutes long I can with no problem because there are 43 of them on the harddrive.

So, again, is it too much? Probably. Do I care? Hell no. I love music and you never know when you might need 6 different versions of 'What A Wonderful World'.

Last Month

About a month ago I broke up with my girlfriend. After 6 years we decided to call it quits.

When people find out they want to know three things, A) what happenned; B) if I am ok; and C) whose fault it was?

When I get to the part about it was no ones fault, it gets kind of hard to explain and I've had trouble trying to describe the new status of our relationship. Last week I talked to Xris and she gave me the perfect description.

So, she gets mad props, not only for describing the impossible, but for the last 6 years of my life.

Although we are broken up, we are 'eligible for rehire'.


Listening To: John Coltrane - One Down, One Up (Live At The Half Note)

Airplanes

Everytime I fly home I enjoy it. There is something about seeing the world from 25000 feet that makes me want to play SimCity. Everything is so simple from the air. Everything is divided and clean. The nice sharp lines of property boundries. The meandering way a river makes it way across the ground. The way hills look like folds in a bed sheet from high above. Hell, even junk yards look nice from above.
The best height is somewhere around ten to fifteen thousand feet. You can spot the specks of cars making their way along roads. Structures become distinguishable. Look for the small oval (high school track), normally in proximity to a green wedge or two (baseball fields). Malls become rectangles stacked on each other sitting on a larger black rectangle of parking spaces. Golf courses are large green swaths with numerous different green dots across it.

When I fly into Raleigh I try to find my house, and now it should be easier, since the normal flightplan takes you over the North Raleigh Borders, which I can usually spot. Find 540 to the north of the store, then find the water tower to the south, in between is the store. Unfortunately some old hag had the window, so I didnt get to spot anything but her blue head.

Now I have to find my copy of SIMCity3.

Following The Flame

Just 5 days left until Winter Olympics XX, the big double X, the 'Score', a dozen & two-thirds of another dozen.

Watch the opening ceremonies for sheer TV pomp at its best, and for this: The Sparks of Passion.
The Ceremonies involves choreographers, directors, costume designers and international professionals; they will also involve a choreographed exhibition on skates called Sparks of Passion, in which eight ice hockey athletes will race at 50 km an hour inside the Stadio Olimpico. The uniqueness of this exhibition is also guaranteed due to the Sparks of Passion, generating red flames 2 metres long.


See where the flame is right now!
The Route

Best Live Albums

The Who - Live At Leeds (deluxe edition) Although the single disc version is very good as well, you need the second disc with a live version of Tommy. A wall of noise comes from just three guys and show The Who as the best live band of any from the British Invasion.

The Allman Brothers - The Fillmore Concerts The two-discs covers the best of the four sets. The best from a great, great live band. Just think, in a world without 'Freebird' the Allmans would be looked at the undisputed champs of southern rock.

Frank Zappa - YCDTOSA Vol 2 (the Helsinki Concert Volume two of Zappa's career spanning 12 disc set, these two discs highlight one of the most talented bands ever, playing some of the most ridiculously complex music ever. And they play it very well and very quickly. Anyone who loves supremely talented musicians will love this concert.

Santana - Live At The Fillmore 68 Five men find a groove and ride it for two hours, laying down some of the funkiest rock music ever. Greg Rolie's keyboard (of later Journey fame) swirls around while Carlos soars over the entire band with his distinctive sound.

Van Morrison - Its Too Late To Stop Now The tempermental Van and his band are in top form on this set and as a bonus, no live cover of Moondance.

The Grateful Dead - Dicks Picks Vol 10 The band synonymous with playing live, this is one of the best efforts in their catelog. Jerry and the boys play with abandon and the songs teeter on the brink of exploding into chaos.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

I know spring is just around the corner when i see Cadbury Creme Eggs in the store. The Creme Egg is my absolute weakness, I'm pretty sure the Creme Egg would be in my last meal. These things rock, a chocolate shell covering some white/orange spongy, sticky mass of pure sugar. Whoever invented this thing should be fucking knighted.
It also has one of the most timeless advertizing lines of all time. The Cadbury bunny has been schilling these sugarbombs for as long as i can remember. Also the eggs are only available for a short time, disappearing right after easter like jesus.

But the Creme Egg is only the predecessor to the real star of the junk food spring scene. Girl Scout Cookies. These things hit strip malls like mating season and people go fuckin nuts. Tell me of another time you've ever bought more than 2 of the SAME kind of cookie in one shopping trip. These too have remain relatively constant over the years, allowing me to buy box after box of thin mint every spring until the girlscouts disappear, returning to their magic tree to start baking next years batch of chocolately goodness.

Also, I heard some magical words today. "Two weeks until pitchers and catchers." A glorious phrase, especially this year with a stronger team. Delgado & Wagner. I love Omar Minaya. In fact if i ever get a dog, his (or her) name will be Omar.

Time Machines

Dont you wish sometimes you had a time machine to go back in time and redo something? Even if it was a limited time machine that set you back an hour or two. Especially after you read the instructions on something and say 'Well, whats the worst that can happen?'
Here's a tip, when the instructions on the bath mat say 'wash alone and on gentle cycle' listen to them. I didnt, figuring whats the worst that can happen.
The worst that can happen is that your mat sheds blue over everything else in the load and starts to come apart, so you spend 10 minutes pulling out chunks of the rug.
So beware, read instructions, especially during washing.

I can't believe...

I forgot how good De La Soul's 3 Feet High And Rising is. Fuck.

The Great Game of Cricket

I have no clue what this next means, but it sounds good... maybe...

Match State: Drinks

And the drinks come onto the field

End of over 17 (4 runs) Pakistan 56/1
SC Ganguly 2-0-5-0 (1nb) - Pavilion End
Younis Khan 25* (42b 4x4) Shoaib Malik 18* (56b 3x4)

16.6 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, short of a length and outside the
off, punched off the back foot to cover
16.5 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run
16.4 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, full and on the pads, clipped to
the leg side
16.3 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, FOUR, short of a length and outside the
off, Malik stands tall, opens the face of the bat and eases the
ball past the lone slip fielder to the third-man boundary
16.2 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, short of a good length and outside
the off, driven off the back foot to cover
16.1 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, just short of a good length and on
the off, defended back down the pitch


That was a portion of a cricket boxscore between India & Pakistan. Two HUGE cricket rivals. Think Yankees-Red Sox, but with 80 million fans on each side.

Now cricket looks epic, but also very English. A huge swath of perfectly maincured lawn. Men scattered across the lawn, standing still. Its quite serene. Then the bowler runs at a batsman and throws a ball right at him. Then the batsman swings a giant flat bat and all hell breaks loose. Since you can hit the ball (a small rockhard sphere) in any direction, there is no foul ball. After that i have no idea what the hell is going on.

It would be interesting to learn what 24.3 Kumble to Shoaib Malik, no run, low full toss on leg stump, Malik flicks but cannot beat midwicket means, but what purpose would it serve? Where is this going to come in handy? Should I even learn it? Wouldnt my time be better spent doing something else than trying to dechiper a cricket box score?

You know what, fuck it, i will waste my time learning this. I've always wanted to know what cricket scoring meant, just so i can say i know it. And I'm gonna do it.

It would be another bizarre fact i know in place of actually knowledge, something that may actually be useful in life. Like Ted Williams life time average [.344], or the level adjustment of an ogre mage [+7], or the first novel ever written on a typewriter ['The Adventures of Tom Sawyer'] or that the word 'typewriter' is the longest word in the english language that uses only the top row of the keyboard.

Why the fuck would anyone know this kind of stuff off the top of their head?

For some reason I do. I cant name both my state senators, i dont know how to change my oil, but i know that the USS Hood was the ship that Riker left to join the Enterprise. What good is this knowledge going to? Which cancer will it cure? How is my life going to be better because i know there are 3 golfballs on the moon?

But then again it will help me get the cricket jokes in Sports Night.

My Post Apocalyptic Choice

I've always wondered which kind of post-apocalyptic world I would like to live in. Would it be the pastoral simplicity of 'The Postman'? the future utopia of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation'? or the hiding-from-robot worlds of 'Battlestar Galactica/The Terminator/The Matrix'?

There are definate pros and cons to each choice:

pastoral/Postman
pros: no laws, everyone gets a horse, all natural food
cons: Cosner doing shakespeare, being overrun by an insane power hungry warlord

utopia/ST:TNG
pros: warp speed, Risa (the pleasure planet), the holodeck
cons: jumpsuits, Q, the Crystalline Entity

robot-hiding/BG
pros: everyones in shape from running & hiding, everyone gets a gun, the ability to tell a fable testing the strength of the human spirit against overwhelming odds
cons: running & hiding all the time, evil robots, mind/anal probes

I'd probably go with the Next Generation world; its clean, sterile and your computer can spout any song or piece of music from all history by voice command. Plus I like Starfleet. I'd probably be some kind of Liutenant working on an Oberth-class science vessel, but only if the ship had a holodeck.

Work

Started the new year in a good way. Got written up for an inter-office email and learned an important lesson. Dont send these to Gary.
Now, i dont really care that i was written up, its not like its the first time, but now there is one less happy thing that can happen at work.
A logged on email account can bring sun on a rainy day, turn lead into gold and make work a bit less sucky for a while. It makes me forget about lp, about scum bag thieving 10 year olds and being at the red-headed stepchild of the triangle stores. Sales wise only, we clearly have the best staff & the best looking store.

The upcoming inventory nightmare is scaring me. our numbers will be shit, especially if they include a bounce back from last year. i'm fearing the worse.

Listening To: my ITunes Mix Stoner folder

speaking of music, does anyone have the Donnie darko soundtrack? Im looking for the song "Mad World" by Michael Andrews, its a Tears for Fears cover. I'd get it from itunes store, but the individual song isnt available to buy. fuckers.