I Love Rock And Roll

Normally I don't listen to the radio, but tonight I'm glad I did.

It was the end of a long day; busy at both jobs, delivering in the rain, not having a raincoat. And I went looking for something else. All during delivering I listened to disc 1 of Drive By Truckers Southern Rock Opera, 3 times in fact.

Flipped around FM, looking for anything, found a DJ talking about Kiss. Figured this station might play something I would know, and possibly like.

So, now it's only drizzling, and the roads are empty, black and shiny. I'm sitting at the light in front of McCafe on Falls and this song comes on the radio.



I crank it right before the light changes and sing along.

The craziness at the bookstore, the crappy tippers, all disappear. It's the perfect song at the perfect time. It's better loud, too, always the sign of a good song.

It's then followed by this song, which I had never heard before, and I realize that people can still right a great rocking song.



A great rocking song must have 3 things:
1. An air-guitarable riff
2. A sing along chorus*
3. Thinly veiled sexually innuendo. The dirtier and simpler, the better.

Then, there was another commercial and I remembered why I don't listen to the radio any more. But for 7 minutes I was reminded why I love music.

Rock and roll music absolutely kicks ass when it's really good. It is truly my drug of choice and I am a slave to her.


*A sing along chorus AND a sing along verse make it a 'fucking great rocking song.'

Geeks & Crannies

For the geek in all. Order Of The Stick.

And is the cranny opposite of the nook?

Thomas' English Muffins have nooks and crannies. We all know that the larger concave side of the split muffin is the nook side, so that must mean the other, slightly smaller convex half muffin is the cranny side.

Is that what a cranny is supposed to look like? It looks like an extreme close up of whale skin (at like 1000x times).

Running & Guitar Hero III

The past two Saturdays I've been able to run a 5k around the lake behind my apartment.

Last week was 28:06
This week was 28:50

With the weather changing it's going to be harder to run. I hope the exercise room of my complex has a treadmill.

Also, Guitar Hero is just about the coolest game in the world for people who want to play guitar (but can't), have played entire air guitar concerts at their house, and have a fondness for classic rock hits.

Its awesome on Easy, frustrating on medium. Once I get the hang of it, I will shred (fakely).

OMG!

This is one of the most spectacular things I've seen on line. If you are not brought to tears then you have no soul and I hope you die alone.

Dicks In The Rain

Driving to and from work today, I saw 4 accidents. Half involved 2 cars; the other two, 1 car and a stationary object (a pair of telephone poles).

It seems that in the two months since its rained people have forgotten how to drive in the rain. I've heard/made up that the worst time to drive in the rain is about 20 minutes after it starts because the rainwater forces the oils from in the road surface, to on the road surface making it extra oily slippery. After that amount of time the water washes the oils away leaving the road just plain wet slippery.

This could be something I just made up, or something I heard once, or something I twisted around. I honestly can't remember, but it makes sense.

If this is the case then maybe after such a long dry spell, there was extra amounts of oils in the roadway to be brought forth by the rain. Or maybe people just suck at driving.

Also, there is a douchebag in my complex who, instead of parking, decides to spin his wheels on the slick pavement driving around the main office multiple times. If we were near a cliff, I'd wish he'd drive off it, but I'll settle for him smashing into someone else's car, or maybe flipping it over on my neighbors lawn. Either of the two would suffice.

BTW - I borrowed The Decemberists "The Crane Wife" from work. Holy fuck is that a good album.

Well That Sucked

A sad and more painful ending to this season as opposed to last season. Last season the ending was quick, clean. This season, it was agonzing. A historical collapse, one for the records books. Seven up with 17 to play.

From the beginning of the season, I didn't have a good feeling about this team. It was because I didn't trust the starting pitching. Didn't have a number one, still don't. The starters pitched well at times, and tired down the stretch. The bullpen just fell apart.
The offense wasn't as electric as it was last year. Only Wright surpassed last season, Delgado had career lows in ave/obp/slug. Reyes disappeared at the end. Alou was a surprise for someone whose 40, but was oft hurt. Please get rid of Green, he plays like at 39 year old, which is bad since he's 34. Let the kids fight it out for LF. Don't trade them. I can send you a whole tape of Beltran leaving the field limping after running into a wall.

Don't change anything. Don't fire Willie. Or Omar. Nothing worked at the end. Everything fell apart. Everyone is to blame. Even the fans.

This ones gonna hurt a bit more. Always felt as we're a blessed club. Miracles, Buckner, even our pathetic teams are celebrated as Casey's lovable losers.

I have a good feeling about next year. Last time a Mets team disappointed me this much was the 85 team that won 98 games and finished 3 back of the Cards. No wild card, would have been wild card by 14 games. We all know how the next season turned out.

So we will wait and see what happens. If there isn't some kind of pitching signed during the off season, Shea might come down a season early. A leader needs to step up.

With only 20 weeks until pitchers and catchers, here are my bold predictions/wishes for 2008:
-Pedro 205 innings
-Reyes 85 steals, 140 runs
-Wright 335/450/600
-Delgado 33hr, 115rbis
-Beltran 30/30
-Maine/Glavine/Perez - 15 wins each

Now, just need to wait 5 weeks for college basketball to start.

Its All About The *

Barry Bonds' 756 homerun ball has been bought. And now the owner is letting the public decide what to do with it.

Go here to vote.

I voted for the asterisk.

What ever Bonds says, I know he cheated. He, along with a goodly portion of Major Leaguers, used performance enhancing substances. So, I believe this record is tainted.

The sad thing is that Bonds was a sure fire first-ballot Hall of Famer (and top 10 All Time player) before his head grew three sizes bigger. Now he'll be the poster boy for the Steroid Era.

Two, No Three Things

1 - What the hell did we do with our lives before the internet? Genius was the person who created the Wikiquotes page.

2 - If Tivo/DVR had existed about 10 years ago would great TV shows like Sports Night, Freaks & Geeks and Firefly, have been cancelled as early as they were? Or, would they have been saved because no matter what the network execs did to the shows' viewing schedule and running order, people would still be able to find and watch them? Discuss. (Also mention other great shows that got screwed.)

3 - Ever wondered who's been changing your Wikipedia entry? Now you can find out. Check out the edits a church did to the Origin of Species entry.

I Told You

It was only a matter of time before someone tried something like this.

This opens the door to children's names like Christo4 and K8. Its gonna happen in our lifetime so get used to it.

Names come and go in style. How many Jennifer's are being born now as compared to 20 years ago? Do you have any grandparents named Sierra or Dawson? When will names like Ethelred or Urban or Socrates come back into style?

Aliens Kill The Beatles

I posed this question to co-workers.

"Say aliens came to earth and told you that they were deleting every song by The Beatles, but you were allowed to save one song from being deleted from the fabric of time. Which one song would you save as a testament to all things Beatle? Which one song most represents the power and genius of the band?"

It doesn't matter why the aliens are deleting the Beatles catalog, or which planet they are from. It only matters that you have to save a single song, a song that contains the most Beatleness.

Of course you could do this with other bands. Hell you could do this with Baldwins.


As for Beatles song, I chose 'Ticket To Ride'
The Stones 'Gimme Shelter'
Styx 'Suite Madam Blue'
Baldwin - Alec

Tour de France

I bet you didn't know that the Tour de France is currently in progress. That's what happens when there is no feel good American story at the Tour.

So here is the only 30 seconds of the race that I've seen. It involves a bike and a dog.

The bike gets the worst of this deal. And apparently the French word for 'smack' is 'smack'.

What Was Once Hated...

... has now become unhated.

You know how there are certain really really good songs that you can't listen to anymore because you've heard it half a billion times. You actively avoid listening to it, skipping it in iTunes, changing the radio station, whatever. You do all that is humanly possible to NOT hear the song, even though you know every word, every odd phrasing, every drum fill.

Let me tell you there is another side. Eventually the song will pass all the way through hatred and come out the other side into some kind of quasi-state of acceptance. Whereby you accept the song as great, that you -in fact- do NOT love OR hate the song, and that this song is a part of your essential being (and probably has been for a long period of time) and therefore inseparable from your immortal soul.

The first (and so far only song) to make this journey for me is "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.

Long Island is the only place in the universe that you would grow up under the delusion that Billy Joel is better than Bruce Springsteen. He's on all the time, on every station. Fits well on the classic rock stations, kills on AOR and its not truly Friday on the island until you hear Piano Man.

I admit that it was the first song I knew all the words to, I played it to death at some point in my life and knew that every bar I would go into there would be a pair of Billy Joel heads in the jukebox declaring that this CD jukebox had both discs of Billy Joel's Greatest Hits.

Then, some time after high school, I started to hate the song (probably because it reminded me of HS and I hated that.) It slowly and slowly became more painful to listen to the song. Even after I moved south and heard the song once a month, rather than once a day, my hatred still grew.

Last week I heard it on the radio I realized that I didn't hate it anymore. Not for the cheesy, predictable lyrics ('sharing a drink they call loneliness, but its better than drinkin alone'); the accordian, nor the la-la-la-didi-da la-la-didi-da-da-da. It had evolved past hatred into that odd acceptance.

That gave me hope. The hope that other really-great-songs-that-I-currently-despise can find their way back into my life.

So, good luck "Where The Streets Have No Name", "Moondance" and the live version of "Freebird". Maybe some day I won't hate you.

Russian Bears (say it fast)

In the past three weeks I went to 2 concerts. My first in 4 years. Tool in Winston Salem, then Rush at the Creek. Both shows outstanding. Best Rush show I've ever seen. They played all the stuff that I love and skipped most of the lame ass 90s stuff. Lots of fun, great weather at the Rush show, nice cool evening but not cold or humid.

Tom somehow turned a simple dog walking into a 2 hours farce. He was supposed to walk Bear when I was at inventory. He tried getting the lead on Bear for 90 minutes, but anytime he got close with it, Bear growled. But if he just wanted to pet or feed the dog, Bear would let him. Tom was able to coax him onto the porch and he peed there.

Bear is a humping machine. I take him to the dog park and all he wants to do is hump everyone there. Its very sad. I wish he'd stop.

Oh My God!

About 5 minutes ago I realized that I had been trained by the dog.

I was sitting at my computer and I called Bear to put his paws on my knees so I could pet him. The instant I started petting him he got down, so I had to follow him to the floor to continue the scratch.

It was then I realized this dog trained me to do that. I hadn't realized until just now that he's ALWAYS done the same move.

I know what he's thinking, too.

**Okay, I'm gonna sorta jump up, wait till the-man-who-feeds-me starts scratching me, then I gonna sit my ass down and get scratched. Fool, food-man doesn't see it coming**

The Great Outdoors

This afternoon I watched a hawk capture, kill, pluck and then eat a small bird. And it happened right outside my back door.

The nameless hawk, lets call him Steve, chased a small bird, lets call him Food, into the bush behind my apartment. Steve caught Food as Food attempted to circle back around. Then Steve sat on a branch holding Food while all of Food's friends chirped like mad.

I guess all of Food's friends were saying, "You're gonna rot in hell for eating our friend!", "Stupid Steve, may your babies become squirrel food" and things of that ilk.

Once Food was dead, or maybe he wasn't quite yet, Steve began plucking the feathers off of Food in order to get to all the squishy bits inside. It was rather cool, the hawk couldn't have been more than 10 feet from me as he was doing this. I had a great view through the bush.

Once I know what kind of Steve it was, I'll let you know.

Dammed If You Do...

Today I had a customer call to complain about our customer service. Apparently she felt that it was too good.

She had not one, but three different people ask her if she needed any help. Then the person at the register had the audacity to talk to her about her purchases. You know, annoying things like, 'ooh, this is a good book' and 'I'm glad this is finally out in paperback.'

In my 16 years of retail, this is the first time I've ever had this complaint. Will our enthusiasm keep her from shopping at our store? Of course not.

I also caught a Mexican trying to steal two latin cd sets from our store, so overall it was a good day.

The Real Enemy

is big pharma. Eventually there will be no more oil. There will never be a time when there isn't something wrong with our body. Unless we all become cyborgs, but with souls.

Here's the little guy (okay, it is a WHOLE country) standing up to the big guys and saying 'suck it.'

They spend more on advertising than r&d. Hell, they are inventing conditions just to sell drugs. "Restless leg syndrome"? What is that?

Wait till we start exploring space. That's a whole other galaxy of diseases to be cured. "Lunaphobia", "Mars Dust Fever" and "Io Rectal Itch".

Would You Do...

Found this site about female sportscasters.

Its rude, but funny.

Ben Folds

recorded a great version of Snoop Dogg's 'B!&#*@s Ain't S*!t'. To turn it into a piano ballad, aka Air Supply, is brilliance. If anyone really wants it, I can put it on a mix cd for you. I cant figure out how to link songs.

A Long Time

Its been a while since the last one, things have changed. I now have Bear. Jamie's dad broke his leg and they couldn't have a dog running all over, so I took him.
He's sleeping now, he follows me every where. Its a bit creepy sometimes, but he's cool. And since he's 9 or so, he's completely house trained and not active like a puppy. Perfect for a lazy bastard. Like me.

Tried to see Blades of Glory tonight for free, but the guy in front of me was the last one in the theater. So that sucked. Maybe next time.

Run out of ideas on making song lists in iTunes, now just making lists of all songs with certain letters in them.

You Tube: Return of the Bride

this gets good after the bride comes in

I've just found out that this video was staged. Darn.

New 7 Wonders

In humanity's quest of the ultimate list they have decided to allow everyone with access to the internet to define the New 7 Wonders of the World. Please vote, because if you don't, the terrorists have already won.

A Question

Say a customer, who used to be an employee 7 years ago, continually calls you by someone else's name, are you allowed to correct him if you don't remember his?

God Save The Playoff!

Two things I love. Chuck Klosterman and College Football.

He's right you know, this is the same reason I love College Football.