Dont you wish sometimes you had a time machine to go back in time and redo something? Even if it was a limited time machine that set you back an hour or two. Especially after you read the instructions on something and say 'Well, whats the worst that can happen?'
Here's a tip, when the instructions on the bath mat say 'wash alone and on gentle cycle' listen to them. I didnt, figuring whats the worst that can happen.
The worst that can happen is that your mat sheds blue over everything else in the load and starts to come apart, so you spend 10 minutes pulling out chunks of the rug.
So beware, read instructions, especially during washing.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
The Great Game of Cricket
I have no clue what this next means, but it sounds good... maybe...
Match State: Drinks
And the drinks come onto the field
End of over 17 (4 runs) Pakistan 56/1
SC Ganguly 2-0-5-0 (1nb) - Pavilion End
Younis Khan 25* (42b 4x4) Shoaib Malik 18* (56b 3x4)
16.6 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, short of a length and outside the
off, punched off the back foot to cover
16.5 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run
16.4 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, full and on the pads, clipped to
the leg side
16.3 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, FOUR, short of a length and outside the
off, Malik stands tall, opens the face of the bat and eases the
ball past the lone slip fielder to the third-man boundary
16.2 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, short of a good length and outside
the off, driven off the back foot to cover
16.1 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, just short of a good length and on
the off, defended back down the pitch
That was a portion of a cricket boxscore between India & Pakistan. Two HUGE cricket rivals. Think Yankees-Red Sox, but with 80 million fans on each side.
Now cricket looks epic, but also very English. A huge swath of perfectly maincured lawn. Men scattered across the lawn, standing still. Its quite serene. Then the bowler runs at a batsman and throws a ball right at him. Then the batsman swings a giant flat bat and all hell breaks loose. Since you can hit the ball (a small rockhard sphere) in any direction, there is no foul ball. After that i have no idea what the hell is going on.
It would be interesting to learn what 24.3 Kumble to Shoaib Malik, no run, low full toss on leg stump, Malik flicks but cannot beat midwicket means, but what purpose would it serve? Where is this going to come in handy? Should I even learn it? Wouldnt my time be better spent doing something else than trying to dechiper a cricket box score?
You know what, fuck it, i will waste my time learning this. I've always wanted to know what cricket scoring meant, just so i can say i know it. And I'm gonna do it.
It would be another bizarre fact i know in place of actually knowledge, something that may actually be useful in life. Like Ted Williams life time average [.344], or the level adjustment of an ogre mage [+7], or the first novel ever written on a typewriter ['The Adventures of Tom Sawyer'] or that the word 'typewriter' is the longest word in the english language that uses only the top row of the keyboard.
Why the fuck would anyone know this kind of stuff off the top of their head?
For some reason I do. I cant name both my state senators, i dont know how to change my oil, but i know that the USS Hood was the ship that Riker left to join the Enterprise. What good is this knowledge going to? Which cancer will it cure? How is my life going to be better because i know there are 3 golfballs on the moon?
But then again it will help me get the cricket jokes in Sports Night.
Match State: Drinks
And the drinks come onto the field
End of over 17 (4 runs) Pakistan 56/1
SC Ganguly 2-0-5-0 (1nb) - Pavilion End
Younis Khan 25* (42b 4x4) Shoaib Malik 18* (56b 3x4)
16.6 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, short of a length and outside the
off, punched off the back foot to cover
16.5 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run
16.4 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, full and on the pads, clipped to
the leg side
16.3 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, FOUR, short of a length and outside the
off, Malik stands tall, opens the face of the bat and eases the
ball past the lone slip fielder to the third-man boundary
16.2 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, short of a good length and outside
the off, driven off the back foot to cover
16.1 Ganguly to Shoaib Malik, no run, just short of a good length and on
the off, defended back down the pitch
That was a portion of a cricket boxscore between India & Pakistan. Two HUGE cricket rivals. Think Yankees-Red Sox, but with 80 million fans on each side.
Now cricket looks epic, but also very English. A huge swath of perfectly maincured lawn. Men scattered across the lawn, standing still. Its quite serene. Then the bowler runs at a batsman and throws a ball right at him. Then the batsman swings a giant flat bat and all hell breaks loose. Since you can hit the ball (a small rockhard sphere) in any direction, there is no foul ball. After that i have no idea what the hell is going on.
It would be interesting to learn what 24.3 Kumble to Shoaib Malik, no run, low full toss on leg stump, Malik flicks but cannot beat midwicket means, but what purpose would it serve? Where is this going to come in handy? Should I even learn it? Wouldnt my time be better spent doing something else than trying to dechiper a cricket box score?
You know what, fuck it, i will waste my time learning this. I've always wanted to know what cricket scoring meant, just so i can say i know it. And I'm gonna do it.
It would be another bizarre fact i know in place of actually knowledge, something that may actually be useful in life. Like Ted Williams life time average [.344], or the level adjustment of an ogre mage [+7], or the first novel ever written on a typewriter ['The Adventures of Tom Sawyer'] or that the word 'typewriter' is the longest word in the english language that uses only the top row of the keyboard.
Why the fuck would anyone know this kind of stuff off the top of their head?
For some reason I do. I cant name both my state senators, i dont know how to change my oil, but i know that the USS Hood was the ship that Riker left to join the Enterprise. What good is this knowledge going to? Which cancer will it cure? How is my life going to be better because i know there are 3 golfballs on the moon?
But then again it will help me get the cricket jokes in Sports Night.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
My Post Apocalyptic Choice
I've always wondered which kind of post-apocalyptic world I would like to live in. Would it be the pastoral simplicity of 'The Postman'? the future utopia of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation'? or the hiding-from-robot worlds of 'Battlestar Galactica/The Terminator/The Matrix'?
There are definate pros and cons to each choice:
pastoral/Postman
pros: no laws, everyone gets a horse, all natural food
cons: Cosner doing shakespeare, being overrun by an insane power hungry warlord
utopia/ST:TNG
pros: warp speed, Risa (the pleasure planet), the holodeck
cons: jumpsuits, Q, the Crystalline Entity
robot-hiding/BG
pros: everyones in shape from running & hiding, everyone gets a gun, the ability to tell a fable testing the strength of the human spirit against overwhelming odds
cons: running & hiding all the time, evil robots, mind/anal probes
I'd probably go with the Next Generation world; its clean, sterile and your computer can spout any song or piece of music from all history by voice command. Plus I like Starfleet. I'd probably be some kind of Liutenant working on an Oberth-class science vessel, but only if the ship had a holodeck.
There are definate pros and cons to each choice:
pastoral/Postman
pros: no laws, everyone gets a horse, all natural food
cons: Cosner doing shakespeare, being overrun by an insane power hungry warlord
utopia/ST:TNG
pros: warp speed, Risa (the pleasure planet), the holodeck
cons: jumpsuits, Q, the Crystalline Entity
robot-hiding/BG
pros: everyones in shape from running & hiding, everyone gets a gun, the ability to tell a fable testing the strength of the human spirit against overwhelming odds
cons: running & hiding all the time, evil robots, mind/anal probes
I'd probably go with the Next Generation world; its clean, sterile and your computer can spout any song or piece of music from all history by voice command. Plus I like Starfleet. I'd probably be some kind of Liutenant working on an Oberth-class science vessel, but only if the ship had a holodeck.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Work
Started the new year in a good way. Got written up for an inter-office email and learned an important lesson. Dont send these to Gary.
Now, i dont really care that i was written up, its not like its the first time, but now there is one less happy thing that can happen at work.
A logged on email account can bring sun on a rainy day, turn lead into gold and make work a bit less sucky for a while. It makes me forget about lp, about scum bag thieving 10 year olds and being at the red-headed stepchild of the triangle stores. Sales wise only, we clearly have the best staff & the best looking store.
The upcoming inventory nightmare is scaring me. our numbers will be shit, especially if they include a bounce back from last year. i'm fearing the worse.
Listening To: my ITunes Mix Stoner folder
speaking of music, does anyone have the Donnie darko soundtrack? Im looking for the song "Mad World" by Michael Andrews, its a Tears for Fears cover. I'd get it from itunes store, but the individual song isnt available to buy. fuckers.
Now, i dont really care that i was written up, its not like its the first time, but now there is one less happy thing that can happen at work.
A logged on email account can bring sun on a rainy day, turn lead into gold and make work a bit less sucky for a while. It makes me forget about lp, about scum bag thieving 10 year olds and being at the red-headed stepchild of the triangle stores. Sales wise only, we clearly have the best staff & the best looking store.
The upcoming inventory nightmare is scaring me. our numbers will be shit, especially if they include a bounce back from last year. i'm fearing the worse.
Listening To: my ITunes Mix Stoner folder
speaking of music, does anyone have the Donnie darko soundtrack? Im looking for the song "Mad World" by Michael Andrews, its a Tears for Fears cover. I'd get it from itunes store, but the individual song isnt available to buy. fuckers.
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