Long Time Coming

Its been a while since I posted anything and just wanted to post this. Great video, that its in spanish is even better. Man I loved this show.

Adventures In Dog Sitting

The weekend of Thanksgiving I dog sat for Jamie's dog, Bear, for 5 days. He was just about the perfect dog, he slept alot, he never 'went' in the house and he was generally a cool dog. But I learned alot from the experience.

1. I would have to buy a better vacuum if I get a dog.
2. Some dogs poop more than once during a walk.
3. They like to pee in the same place over and over and over again.
4. It was fun to have company all the time, it felt like I wasn't talking to myself.

I did miss him when he was gone, and suprised myself when I went looking for him the first day he left.

I do wish I could keep him for a longer time, but my plan to get a second job to help pay for Europe, would keep me out of the apartment for 12 hours some days and that wouldn't be fair to me or to him. Then there's the monetary issue. I just can't afford a dog, even a small one, right now.

If I could find a way to keep him I probably would. I could use the daily exercise of walks, I'd never sleep past 9am again and I'd never have to worry about picking up crumbs anymore.

Sigh

This might have been the best Word ever. If he doesn't win the Emmy next year, I will hunt and kill Barry Manilow. Who's with me?

You Tube: Part 2

Another reason why You Tube rocks, and another person with too much time on his hands. LINK.

Etaoin

Only because it came up at work today link.

Fuck Yadier Molina

Well, I can finally write about the Mets now that the season is over. I have a couple of superstitious fears that things I do affect the way my team plays. The main one being writing about them.
I know deep down, if I write/gloat about my team, they will fail, especially once the playoffs begin. This fear began way back in 1988 with the Mets. I knew they would win the World Series that year, they were the best team in baseball and it had been just 2 years from the last one. This one was another sure thing, just like 86, but then they lost to the Dodgers and it was another light-hitting, defensive minded catcher that crushed my dreams. So, Mike Scioscia, fuck you too.
Ever since then I am frightened that if I talk about how good my team is, they will lose. It resurfaced again in 99 with Duke. 37-1 going into the final game, they had rolled everyone all season long. I knew I was watching history, their 38th win would be a record for D1 schools, most of the stars were underclassmen and would be returning the next year. Back-to-back was a sure thing. Wrong, enter fuckin UConn. Fuck Jim Calhoun.

So now I take care in what I do, say and even wear when my teams are on. The more important the game, the more care I take. During ACC games, I've been known to change my shirt, change the chair that I'm sitting in and during one season I made origami cranes constantly while Duke was playing.

After watching the recent Game 7 from my chair, my couch, standing, etc. I've begun to realize that what I do has no effect on how my teams play, but it isn't going to stop me from trying.

Progress Sucks

I like driving. It stems from the fact that I got my licence at 20, then lost it just 3 years later for 12 months. If your friend in the car ever forces you to pull over then throws your keys away, don't go and find them. Just sleep there. Don't try to drive home from places unknown. But enough about that.

I like driving fast on winding roads, where you can lean into the turns and you need to keep both hands on the wheel because the shoulder is non-existant. There aren't many roads like that down here, the main reason being the roads are planned in advance, so are mostly straight, or have very long sweeping curves (like Lynn Road). Boring!

Back in NY roads -in certain places- were an after thought, or needed to be put down in between buildings, neighborhoods, parks, etc. For example, the Belt Parkway on Long Island. It leads from the Verrazano Narrows Bridge and crawls along the southern coast of LI until you get to JFK, and can be a parking lot at certain times of the day. But if you hit it at the right time, its like a white knuckle rollercoaster.

One of the few roads down here that I enjoyed driving on was Leesville Road (between Milbrook and Lynn), barely a mile long, it was enough fun that I would go out of my way to take it. Now that they are widening the road they will destroy it. It will no longer be fun to drive, they will straighten the curves, level the road and suck the soul from my driving experience.

I've been trying to find another road like that around here. If anyone knows any place thats fun to drive, let me know. Ray Road isn't that bad, but its too straight and too wide for it to be real fun.

Listening To - Carole King 'Tapestry'

Weasel Stomping Day

Hooray for Weasel Stomping Day!

A Fantabalous Cinderellabration

Five Best Things About My Recent Vacation To Disney/Orlando

1. Going to Disney after Labor day is a must! Lines were short, 20 minutes was the longest wait for any ride (except for Peter Pan?!? which was 40 minutes). Space Mountain 3 times in 45 minutes, the Aerosmith coaster 5 times in an hour. Sweet.
2. Dueling Dragons coaster at Islands of Adventure. A 'fire' and 'ice' dragon hanging coaster pass within inches of each other a couple of times during the ride. Ice side is better, goes upside down one extra time.
3. ESPN Zone resturant on Disney boardwalk. I watched a football game, 4 baseball games and a documentary on the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and never had to swivel my head more than 15 degrees. Food was good too.
4. Shrek 4D. The best of the 3D stage/video shows. The fourth D was smell. Remember ogres are like onions.
5. Raleigh to the Georgia border in 4 hours. My new car can reach speeds exceeding 100 mph.

Five Most Disappointing Things About My Recent Vacation To Disney/Orlando

1. DisneyQuest. Its a 5 level playground with some interesting interactive/multiplayer games and banks of video games that you play for free. But the majority of the old time video games (Asteriods, Galaga, Donkey Kong) were not functioning properly. I played two seperate games where I could not go up. Not one of the pinball games had every flipper functional, and the air hockey game puck was too dirty and didn't slide properly.
2. The inability of Disney to get a believable live 'Ariel'. None of them looked right, it was the hair. Although the 4 or 5 Belle's that I saw were all smokin', and legal!
3. The Jurassic Park ride at Univeral Islands of Adventure. One of the longest lines we waited in 20, minutes, and the big drop at the end of water ride sucked. Did not get wet at all.
4. Everything at Disney that said 2006 had Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pluto and Stitch on it. Stitch? What the fuck? Some of the cast members felt my pain. We even asked for a damaged picture frame that Stitch had fallen off of, no luck.
5. Completely fucking up my sleep pattern. Used to be up till 3, awake at 10 or so, later on my days off. During the vacation in bed by midnight, up before 8. Still having trouble getting back to the old schedule.

Listening to - Ella Fitzgerald Sings Sweet Songs For Swingers

You Tube!

sometimes things aren't what they appear.

last second shot


and sometimes they are

The World Needs More People Like This

An artist sabotages paris hilton cds.

Here's another one he did.

Very brilliant, we need people link Banksy in the US.

Did That Really Just Happen?

Saturday night was spent at a bachelor party and I saw things I never expected to see in someone's living room. The two hour show was spectacular and it involved candle wax, lollipops, whipped cream, knee high leather boots and other things I won't even mention as this is a kid-friendly page. Not only was the show great, but the two strippers allowed pictures to be taken. I don't think I ever heard the phrase "Dammit, my memory card is full again" uttered more times than at the party.

Then we made the mistake of going to Pure Gold. I've been there three times and I have yet to enjoy myself. One, because the best looking girl there this time was the cashier; two, the music sucks; and third, I was bored to tears.

My friend put it best when he compared the two experiences (the strippers in the house & Pure Gold)

"We just had a free filet mignon dinner, why the fuck did we overpay for a stale chocolate chip cookie for dessert?"

Probably A Bit Stupid....

but I chased a shoplifter today. I was returning from the post office (returning my Netflix, Ken Burns Jazz Disc 3) when I saw a guy exit our store from the emergency fire exit. Since our store was NOT on fire I took off after him. He rounded the back of the store and flung the Borders mesh bag into the car, which was parked on the road behind the store.
When I reached the car, he was still getting into it, so I kicked his plastic grill. It responded with a nice crack. Then I noticed that his passenger window was open, so I proceded to stick my arms in and started pulling out our merch. I reached in once, twice, three times and got back most of the stuff (6 DVD boxsets at $450) before he peeled out behind Kroger.
I was able to get the licence plate and since I was wearing the headset, I relayed his plate number to those in the store. When I called the cops, I gave them the plate and an approximate model (unless I've owned the car, I can't tell one from another.) About an hour later an officer told me that he was going to the address that the car was registered to.
About 3pm the officer called me and told me the got the guy. When the officer arrived to give me the rest of the stuff back (2 cds and a 1 dvd) he told me, not only was he able to bust the guy for stealing my stuff, but the cop found a 'good amount' of cocaine, crack and pot, along with needles at the house!
So, not only did I chase a guy (technically not a good idea in the eyes of the LP guys), but I chased a guy who was stealing to satisfy a drug habit and who could have been armed. All in all it was a good day.

Snakes On A Plane!

See this mother fucking movie! It has it all, excitement, snakes, dickhead Brits being killed in great ways, snakes, the obligitory nipple shot and Samuel L Jackson saying 'mutha fucker.'

Nobody alive today says 'mutha fucker' like Samuel L Jackson. I am going on record to say that his headstone should read, "Here Lies One Bad Mutha Fucker!" When alien archeologists visit earth thousands of years from now, THEY will know who lies under that headstone.

The movie gets 3 stars, out of 4 stars. Please don't go to this movie if you expect anything from it. Exposition is kept to a minimum, backstory is almost non-existant but it doesn't matter. Snakes start attacking about 15 minutes into the movie. That's what we want. We want snakes, we want snakes on a plane.

The only thing that kept the movie from getting 4 stars was a single line of Samuel L dialog. I won't give it away, but when you hear it, you'll be wondering what the hell he just said and why.

So enjoy this movie, that's what its there for. Pure entertainment. And Samuel L Jackson.

Lies Of Locke Lamora

A fucking fabulous book. Set in a fantastically realized world, one can only hope that the author returns to the city of Camorr in the future. The characters are wonderful and lovable despite the fact that they are thieves.

Its an Original Voices book, so it should be on sale, also our store got a promo copy, so all stores should have got a promo.

The Visit

On Sunday, one of my best friends ended her stay at my place. For two weeks Marina Del Rey and I discovered some interesting things:

-I would rather watch a show about Hitler than a Three's Company rerun
-There is an old guy who macks on the chicks at my pool
-Harvey Birdman is the bomb
-Colbert at the White House Correspondance Dinner is pure genius
-Eurorail now includes Scandanavia
-London to Amsterdam via train is about 7 hours
-There are at least 3 different squirrels who violate my birdfeeder
-I do not have a USB cable
-Scully (of X-Files fame) is still hot
-If you are ever watching Adult Swim on cartoon network and you are not sure what show is on next, guess Futurama, you will probably be right
-Anderson Cooper is Gloria Vanderbilt's son (which explains why he is such a snazzy dresser)

A Happy Day

Today was a happy day. I received a piece of mail that was 10 years in coming. My very last student loan payment book arrived. Ten fuckin years I've been paying those Sallie Mae pricks my money for a degree I haven't even come close to using. I want a refund.

The Best [hic] Salsa [hic] Ever [hic]

Tonight for dinner I had a smoothie and chips and salsa. Not just any salsa, but the best salsa I've ever had.

Desert Pepper Trading Company Salsa Diablo Hot

You can find it at kroger, usually on an endcap in the ethnic aisle. Its a bit expensive $4.59 for 16oz, but I've never had another like it. And it passes my hotness test. From years of experience I know how hot stuff is by my bodies reaction.

If I hiccup, its hot; if I don't, its not. Rather simple, but effective. Also a neat icebreaker.

They also make a very good bean salsa, a black and a white, with the latter being the better of the two. Now that I've been to the website, I am going to look for the Roasted Habanero Salsa - XXXTra Hot that they make.

Desert Pepper

No, I Was Not High

So last night I had a fucked up dream and it would either make a good Harry Turtledove novel, or a bad Jerry Bruckheimer film. Or vice versa.

I'm in Washington DC and its like 1920, but there is a war going on between the north and the south. I'm in the north and we are winning, its near the end of the war and we have the south on the ropes, but then we are attacked by the English. We have to scurry to bomb shelters to hide from their bombers, but the bomb shelters resemble the new North Hills mall and we are hiding between Chick-Fila and 5 Brothers Burgers. Not the best place to be hiding from bombers, but its okay because the planes only have one bomb and its the size of a football. The planes aren't much bigger than my old Geo, but are very maneuverable, like a genie or air elemental. The only damage the planes do is when one of them turns on end, with its propeller straight down and buzzsaws into the crowd of people, liquifying them instantly.

This sickens the population and the north and south put their differences aside and decide to attack England, France and Germany. My family opens a store that sells old style record players, the kind that are the player and speaker all in one. You can also put a cover on it and carry it around with you and it was the size of my G4 tower. We also sell records, but most of them have been damaged by mold. I did find three Rolling Stones records in the bins, Black & Blue, Emotional Rescue and Some Girls.

Then, Nicole Kidman (posing as our mother), my sister and I sneak into England. Nicole is caught in the train station by security, but me and my sister continue on to complete our mission. We enter the house of the Minister of War and tie up the first secretary we see (played by John Cleese), then enter the next room and rip the phone out of the hands of the next secretary (also played by John Cleese) and tie him up with the cord. Finally we enter the residence of the Minister of War and immobilize the entire family and kidnap his newborn baby. Apparently that was our mission. I stuff the baby in a hiking backpack and wait to see if it cries. When it doesn't we turn to leave.

The End.

15 Months To Go

I have made a decision this week. Sometime next summer I plan to be in Europe, hopefully it will be for my birthday.
I know what you're thinking. *How the fuck is he going to survive Europe when he hates going to downtown Raleigh.* Well, I have a guide, one of my best friends has been to Europe on multiple occasions for months at a time and has promised to go.

Next step, money and lots of it. Europass about $1000 for the month, plane tickets $800+, then there's the money i would need to eat and shower and shop.
So if anyone needs some kneecaps broken, let me know. We'll talk.

Since I will have only 3 1/2 weeks I need to narrow down what I want to see. It is a WHOLE continent. Sort of.

Stonehenge, Paris, Greece, Neuschwanstein, Rome, Amsterdam, more castles, bars 300 years older than our country, London, Spain, churches 1000 years older than our country.

Gonna have to work on that list.