About 5 minutes ago I realized that I had been trained by the dog.
I was sitting at my computer and I called Bear to put his paws on my knees so I could pet him. The instant I started petting him he got down, so I had to follow him to the floor to continue the scratch.
It was then I realized this dog trained me to do that. I hadn't realized until just now that he's ALWAYS done the same move.
I know what he's thinking, too.
**Okay, I'm gonna sorta jump up, wait till the-man-who-feeds-me starts scratching me, then I gonna sit my ass down and get scratched. Fool, food-man doesn't see it coming**
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The Great Outdoors
This afternoon I watched a hawk capture, kill, pluck and then eat a small bird. And it happened right outside my back door.
The nameless hawk, lets call him Steve, chased a small bird, lets call him Food, into the bush behind my apartment. Steve caught Food as Food attempted to circle back around. Then Steve sat on a branch holding Food while all of Food's friends chirped like mad.
I guess all of Food's friends were saying, "You're gonna rot in hell for eating our friend!", "Stupid Steve, may your babies become squirrel food" and things of that ilk.
Once Food was dead, or maybe he wasn't quite yet, Steve began plucking the feathers off of Food in order to get to all the squishy bits inside. It was rather cool, the hawk couldn't have been more than 10 feet from me as he was doing this. I had a great view through the bush.
Once I know what kind of Steve it was, I'll let you know.
The nameless hawk, lets call him Steve, chased a small bird, lets call him Food, into the bush behind my apartment. Steve caught Food as Food attempted to circle back around. Then Steve sat on a branch holding Food while all of Food's friends chirped like mad.
I guess all of Food's friends were saying, "You're gonna rot in hell for eating our friend!", "Stupid Steve, may your babies become squirrel food" and things of that ilk.
Once Food was dead, or maybe he wasn't quite yet, Steve began plucking the feathers off of Food in order to get to all the squishy bits inside. It was rather cool, the hawk couldn't have been more than 10 feet from me as he was doing this. I had a great view through the bush.
Once I know what kind of Steve it was, I'll let you know.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Dammed If You Do...
Today I had a customer call to complain about our customer service. Apparently she felt that it was too good.
She had not one, but three different people ask her if she needed any help. Then the person at the register had the audacity to talk to her about her purchases. You know, annoying things like, 'ooh, this is a good book' and 'I'm glad this is finally out in paperback.'
In my 16 years of retail, this is the first time I've ever had this complaint. Will our enthusiasm keep her from shopping at our store? Of course not.
I also caught a Mexican trying to steal two latin cd sets from our store, so overall it was a good day.
She had not one, but three different people ask her if she needed any help. Then the person at the register had the audacity to talk to her about her purchases. You know, annoying things like, 'ooh, this is a good book' and 'I'm glad this is finally out in paperback.'
In my 16 years of retail, this is the first time I've ever had this complaint. Will our enthusiasm keep her from shopping at our store? Of course not.
I also caught a Mexican trying to steal two latin cd sets from our store, so overall it was a good day.
Friday, April 27, 2007
The Real Enemy
is big pharma. Eventually there will be no more oil. There will never be a time when there isn't something wrong with our body. Unless we all become cyborgs, but with souls.
Here's the little guy (okay, it is a WHOLE country) standing up to the big guys and saying 'suck it.'
They spend more on advertising than r&d. Hell, they are inventing conditions just to sell drugs. "Restless leg syndrome"? What is that?
Wait till we start exploring space. That's a whole other galaxy of diseases to be cured. "Lunaphobia", "Mars Dust Fever" and "Io Rectal Itch".
Here's the little guy (okay, it is a WHOLE country) standing up to the big guys and saying 'suck it.'
They spend more on advertising than r&d. Hell, they are inventing conditions just to sell drugs. "Restless leg syndrome"? What is that?
Wait till we start exploring space. That's a whole other galaxy of diseases to be cured. "Lunaphobia", "Mars Dust Fever" and "Io Rectal Itch".
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Ben Folds
recorded a great version of Snoop Dogg's 'B!&#*@s Ain't S*!t'. To turn it into a piano ballad, aka Air Supply, is brilliance. If anyone really wants it, I can put it on a mix cd for you. I cant figure out how to link songs.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
A Long Time
Its been a while since the last one, things have changed. I now have Bear. Jamie's dad broke his leg and they couldn't have a dog running all over, so I took him.
He's sleeping now, he follows me every where. Its a bit creepy sometimes, but he's cool. And since he's 9 or so, he's completely house trained and not active like a puppy. Perfect for a lazy bastard. Like me.
Tried to see Blades of Glory tonight for free, but the guy in front of me was the last one in the theater. So that sucked. Maybe next time.
Run out of ideas on making song lists in iTunes, now just making lists of all songs with certain letters in them.
He's sleeping now, he follows me every where. Its a bit creepy sometimes, but he's cool. And since he's 9 or so, he's completely house trained and not active like a puppy. Perfect for a lazy bastard. Like me.
Tried to see Blades of Glory tonight for free, but the guy in front of me was the last one in the theater. So that sucked. Maybe next time.
Run out of ideas on making song lists in iTunes, now just making lists of all songs with certain letters in them.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
New 7 Wonders
In humanity's quest of the ultimate list they have decided to allow everyone with access to the internet to define the New 7 Wonders of the World. Please vote, because if you don't, the terrorists have already won.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
A Question
Say a customer, who used to be an employee 7 years ago, continually calls you by someone else's name, are you allowed to correct him if you don't remember his?
Thursday, January 04, 2007
God Save The Playoff!
Two things I love. Chuck Klosterman and College Football.
He's right you know, this is the same reason I love College Football.
He's right you know, this is the same reason I love College Football.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Long Time Coming
Its been a while since I posted anything and just wanted to post this. Great video, that its in spanish is even better. Man I loved this show.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Adventures In Dog Sitting
The weekend of Thanksgiving I dog sat for Jamie's dog, Bear, for 5 days. He was just about the perfect dog, he slept alot, he never 'went' in the house and he was generally a cool dog. But I learned alot from the experience.
1. I would have to buy a better vacuum if I get a dog.
2. Some dogs poop more than once during a walk.
3. They like to pee in the same place over and over and over again.
4. It was fun to have company all the time, it felt like I wasn't talking to myself.
I did miss him when he was gone, and suprised myself when I went looking for him the first day he left.
I do wish I could keep him for a longer time, but my plan to get a second job to help pay for Europe, would keep me out of the apartment for 12 hours some days and that wouldn't be fair to me or to him. Then there's the monetary issue. I just can't afford a dog, even a small one, right now.
If I could find a way to keep him I probably would. I could use the daily exercise of walks, I'd never sleep past 9am again and I'd never have to worry about picking up crumbs anymore.
1. I would have to buy a better vacuum if I get a dog.
2. Some dogs poop more than once during a walk.
3. They like to pee in the same place over and over and over again.
4. It was fun to have company all the time, it felt like I wasn't talking to myself.
I did miss him when he was gone, and suprised myself when I went looking for him the first day he left.
I do wish I could keep him for a longer time, but my plan to get a second job to help pay for Europe, would keep me out of the apartment for 12 hours some days and that wouldn't be fair to me or to him. Then there's the monetary issue. I just can't afford a dog, even a small one, right now.
If I could find a way to keep him I probably would. I could use the daily exercise of walks, I'd never sleep past 9am again and I'd never have to worry about picking up crumbs anymore.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
You Tube: Part 2
Another reason why You Tube rocks, and another person with too much time on his hands. LINK.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Fuck Yadier Molina
Well, I can finally write about the Mets now that the season is over. I have a couple of superstitious fears that things I do affect the way my team plays. The main one being writing about them.
I know deep down, if I write/gloat about my team, they will fail, especially once the playoffs begin. This fear began way back in 1988 with the Mets. I knew they would win the World Series that year, they were the best team in baseball and it had been just 2 years from the last one. This one was another sure thing, just like 86, but then they lost to the Dodgers and it was another light-hitting, defensive minded catcher that crushed my dreams. So, Mike Scioscia, fuck you too.
Ever since then I am frightened that if I talk about how good my team is, they will lose. It resurfaced again in 99 with Duke. 37-1 going into the final game, they had rolled everyone all season long. I knew I was watching history, their 38th win would be a record for D1 schools, most of the stars were underclassmen and would be returning the next year. Back-to-back was a sure thing. Wrong, enter fuckin UConn. Fuck Jim Calhoun.
So now I take care in what I do, say and even wear when my teams are on. The more important the game, the more care I take. During ACC games, I've been known to change my shirt, change the chair that I'm sitting in and during one season I made origami cranes constantly while Duke was playing.
After watching the recent Game 7 from my chair, my couch, standing, etc. I've begun to realize that what I do has no effect on how my teams play, but it isn't going to stop me from trying.
I know deep down, if I write/gloat about my team, they will fail, especially once the playoffs begin. This fear began way back in 1988 with the Mets. I knew they would win the World Series that year, they were the best team in baseball and it had been just 2 years from the last one. This one was another sure thing, just like 86, but then they lost to the Dodgers and it was another light-hitting, defensive minded catcher that crushed my dreams. So, Mike Scioscia, fuck you too.
Ever since then I am frightened that if I talk about how good my team is, they will lose. It resurfaced again in 99 with Duke. 37-1 going into the final game, they had rolled everyone all season long. I knew I was watching history, their 38th win would be a record for D1 schools, most of the stars were underclassmen and would be returning the next year. Back-to-back was a sure thing. Wrong, enter fuckin UConn. Fuck Jim Calhoun.
So now I take care in what I do, say and even wear when my teams are on. The more important the game, the more care I take. During ACC games, I've been known to change my shirt, change the chair that I'm sitting in and during one season I made origami cranes constantly while Duke was playing.
After watching the recent Game 7 from my chair, my couch, standing, etc. I've begun to realize that what I do has no effect on how my teams play, but it isn't going to stop me from trying.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Progress Sucks
I like driving. It stems from the fact that I got my licence at 20, then lost it just 3 years later for 12 months. If your friend in the car ever forces you to pull over then throws your keys away, don't go and find them. Just sleep there. Don't try to drive home from places unknown. But enough about that.
I like driving fast on winding roads, where you can lean into the turns and you need to keep both hands on the wheel because the shoulder is non-existant. There aren't many roads like that down here, the main reason being the roads are planned in advance, so are mostly straight, or have very long sweeping curves (like Lynn Road). Boring!
Back in NY roads -in certain places- were an after thought, or needed to be put down in between buildings, neighborhoods, parks, etc. For example, the Belt Parkway on Long Island. It leads from the Verrazano Narrows Bridge and crawls along the southern coast of LI until you get to JFK, and can be a parking lot at certain times of the day. But if you hit it at the right time, its like a white knuckle rollercoaster.
One of the few roads down here that I enjoyed driving on was Leesville Road (between Milbrook and Lynn), barely a mile long, it was enough fun that I would go out of my way to take it. Now that they are widening the road they will destroy it. It will no longer be fun to drive, they will straighten the curves, level the road and suck the soul from my driving experience.
I've been trying to find another road like that around here. If anyone knows any place thats fun to drive, let me know. Ray Road isn't that bad, but its too straight and too wide for it to be real fun.
Listening To - Carole King 'Tapestry'
I like driving fast on winding roads, where you can lean into the turns and you need to keep both hands on the wheel because the shoulder is non-existant. There aren't many roads like that down here, the main reason being the roads are planned in advance, so are mostly straight, or have very long sweeping curves (like Lynn Road). Boring!
Back in NY roads -in certain places- were an after thought, or needed to be put down in between buildings, neighborhoods, parks, etc. For example, the Belt Parkway on Long Island. It leads from the Verrazano Narrows Bridge and crawls along the southern coast of LI until you get to JFK, and can be a parking lot at certain times of the day. But if you hit it at the right time, its like a white knuckle rollercoaster.
One of the few roads down here that I enjoyed driving on was Leesville Road (between Milbrook and Lynn), barely a mile long, it was enough fun that I would go out of my way to take it. Now that they are widening the road they will destroy it. It will no longer be fun to drive, they will straighten the curves, level the road and suck the soul from my driving experience.
I've been trying to find another road like that around here. If anyone knows any place thats fun to drive, let me know. Ray Road isn't that bad, but its too straight and too wide for it to be real fun.
Listening To - Carole King 'Tapestry'
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
A Fantabalous Cinderellabration
Five Best Things About My Recent Vacation To Disney/Orlando
1. Going to Disney after Labor day is a must! Lines were short, 20 minutes was the longest wait for any ride (except for Peter Pan?!? which was 40 minutes). Space Mountain 3 times in 45 minutes, the Aerosmith coaster 5 times in an hour. Sweet.
2. Dueling Dragons coaster at Islands of Adventure. A 'fire' and 'ice' dragon hanging coaster pass within inches of each other a couple of times during the ride. Ice side is better, goes upside down one extra time.
3. ESPN Zone resturant on Disney boardwalk. I watched a football game, 4 baseball games and a documentary on the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and never had to swivel my head more than 15 degrees. Food was good too.
4. Shrek 4D. The best of the 3D stage/video shows. The fourth D was smell. Remember ogres are like onions.
5. Raleigh to the Georgia border in 4 hours. My new car can reach speeds exceeding 100 mph.
Five Most Disappointing Things About My Recent Vacation To Disney/Orlando
1. DisneyQuest. Its a 5 level playground with some interesting interactive/multiplayer games and banks of video games that you play for free. But the majority of the old time video games (Asteriods, Galaga, Donkey Kong) were not functioning properly. I played two seperate games where I could not go up. Not one of the pinball games had every flipper functional, and the air hockey game puck was too dirty and didn't slide properly.
2. The inability of Disney to get a believable live 'Ariel'. None of them looked right, it was the hair. Although the 4 or 5 Belle's that I saw were all smokin', and legal!
3. The Jurassic Park ride at Univeral Islands of Adventure. One of the longest lines we waited in 20, minutes, and the big drop at the end of water ride sucked. Did not get wet at all.
4. Everything at Disney that said 2006 had Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pluto and Stitch on it. Stitch? What the fuck? Some of the cast members felt my pain. We even asked for a damaged picture frame that Stitch had fallen off of, no luck.
5. Completely fucking up my sleep pattern. Used to be up till 3, awake at 10 or so, later on my days off. During the vacation in bed by midnight, up before 8. Still having trouble getting back to the old schedule.
Listening to - Ella Fitzgerald Sings Sweet Songs For Swingers
1. Going to Disney after Labor day is a must! Lines were short, 20 minutes was the longest wait for any ride (except for Peter Pan?!? which was 40 minutes). Space Mountain 3 times in 45 minutes, the Aerosmith coaster 5 times in an hour. Sweet.
2. Dueling Dragons coaster at Islands of Adventure. A 'fire' and 'ice' dragon hanging coaster pass within inches of each other a couple of times during the ride. Ice side is better, goes upside down one extra time.
3. ESPN Zone resturant on Disney boardwalk. I watched a football game, 4 baseball games and a documentary on the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and never had to swivel my head more than 15 degrees. Food was good too.
4. Shrek 4D. The best of the 3D stage/video shows. The fourth D was smell. Remember ogres are like onions.
5. Raleigh to the Georgia border in 4 hours. My new car can reach speeds exceeding 100 mph.
Five Most Disappointing Things About My Recent Vacation To Disney/Orlando
1. DisneyQuest. Its a 5 level playground with some interesting interactive/multiplayer games and banks of video games that you play for free. But the majority of the old time video games (Asteriods, Galaga, Donkey Kong) were not functioning properly. I played two seperate games where I could not go up. Not one of the pinball games had every flipper functional, and the air hockey game puck was too dirty and didn't slide properly.
2. The inability of Disney to get a believable live 'Ariel'. None of them looked right, it was the hair. Although the 4 or 5 Belle's that I saw were all smokin', and legal!
3. The Jurassic Park ride at Univeral Islands of Adventure. One of the longest lines we waited in 20, minutes, and the big drop at the end of water ride sucked. Did not get wet at all.
4. Everything at Disney that said 2006 had Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pluto and Stitch on it. Stitch? What the fuck? Some of the cast members felt my pain. We even asked for a damaged picture frame that Stitch had fallen off of, no luck.
5. Completely fucking up my sleep pattern. Used to be up till 3, awake at 10 or so, later on my days off. During the vacation in bed by midnight, up before 8. Still having trouble getting back to the old schedule.
Listening to - Ella Fitzgerald Sings Sweet Songs For Swingers
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