Did That Really Just Happen?

Saturday night was spent at a bachelor party and I saw things I never expected to see in someone's living room. The two hour show was spectacular and it involved candle wax, lollipops, whipped cream, knee high leather boots and other things I won't even mention as this is a kid-friendly page. Not only was the show great, but the two strippers allowed pictures to be taken. I don't think I ever heard the phrase "Dammit, my memory card is full again" uttered more times than at the party.

Then we made the mistake of going to Pure Gold. I've been there three times and I have yet to enjoy myself. One, because the best looking girl there this time was the cashier; two, the music sucks; and third, I was bored to tears.

My friend put it best when he compared the two experiences (the strippers in the house & Pure Gold)

"We just had a free filet mignon dinner, why the fuck did we overpay for a stale chocolate chip cookie for dessert?"

Probably A Bit Stupid....

but I chased a shoplifter today. I was returning from the post office (returning my Netflix, Ken Burns Jazz Disc 3) when I saw a guy exit our store from the emergency fire exit. Since our store was NOT on fire I took off after him. He rounded the back of the store and flung the Borders mesh bag into the car, which was parked on the road behind the store.
When I reached the car, he was still getting into it, so I kicked his plastic grill. It responded with a nice crack. Then I noticed that his passenger window was open, so I proceded to stick my arms in and started pulling out our merch. I reached in once, twice, three times and got back most of the stuff (6 DVD boxsets at $450) before he peeled out behind Kroger.
I was able to get the licence plate and since I was wearing the headset, I relayed his plate number to those in the store. When I called the cops, I gave them the plate and an approximate model (unless I've owned the car, I can't tell one from another.) About an hour later an officer told me that he was going to the address that the car was registered to.
About 3pm the officer called me and told me the got the guy. When the officer arrived to give me the rest of the stuff back (2 cds and a 1 dvd) he told me, not only was he able to bust the guy for stealing my stuff, but the cop found a 'good amount' of cocaine, crack and pot, along with needles at the house!
So, not only did I chase a guy (technically not a good idea in the eyes of the LP guys), but I chased a guy who was stealing to satisfy a drug habit and who could have been armed. All in all it was a good day.

Snakes On A Plane!

See this mother fucking movie! It has it all, excitement, snakes, dickhead Brits being killed in great ways, snakes, the obligitory nipple shot and Samuel L Jackson saying 'mutha fucker.'

Nobody alive today says 'mutha fucker' like Samuel L Jackson. I am going on record to say that his headstone should read, "Here Lies One Bad Mutha Fucker!" When alien archeologists visit earth thousands of years from now, THEY will know who lies under that headstone.

The movie gets 3 stars, out of 4 stars. Please don't go to this movie if you expect anything from it. Exposition is kept to a minimum, backstory is almost non-existant but it doesn't matter. Snakes start attacking about 15 minutes into the movie. That's what we want. We want snakes, we want snakes on a plane.

The only thing that kept the movie from getting 4 stars was a single line of Samuel L dialog. I won't give it away, but when you hear it, you'll be wondering what the hell he just said and why.

So enjoy this movie, that's what its there for. Pure entertainment. And Samuel L Jackson.

Lies Of Locke Lamora

A fucking fabulous book. Set in a fantastically realized world, one can only hope that the author returns to the city of Camorr in the future. The characters are wonderful and lovable despite the fact that they are thieves.

Its an Original Voices book, so it should be on sale, also our store got a promo copy, so all stores should have got a promo.

The Visit

On Sunday, one of my best friends ended her stay at my place. For two weeks Marina Del Rey and I discovered some interesting things:

-I would rather watch a show about Hitler than a Three's Company rerun
-There is an old guy who macks on the chicks at my pool
-Harvey Birdman is the bomb
-Colbert at the White House Correspondance Dinner is pure genius
-Eurorail now includes Scandanavia
-London to Amsterdam via train is about 7 hours
-There are at least 3 different squirrels who violate my birdfeeder
-I do not have a USB cable
-Scully (of X-Files fame) is still hot
-If you are ever watching Adult Swim on cartoon network and you are not sure what show is on next, guess Futurama, you will probably be right
-Anderson Cooper is Gloria Vanderbilt's son (which explains why he is such a snazzy dresser)